FAQs and Idiosyncrasies

1. Where are you from?
   Born and raised in Southern California. Been there my whole life and I'm essentially monolingual.
   My parents, on the other hand, were born and raised in the Philippines. My mother met my father in the United States while she was studying there. I am Filipino-American and do not know Tagalog. I understand bits and pieces. I'm embarrassed by this fact.
   
   
2. Why did you come to Hong Kong UST?
   Three reasons.
   Scholarship - It would have cost more money in terms of living expenses and travel costs to attend a UC despite my California residency. So why not invest money in something that will make me stand out?
   Deviance - My path is unconventional. I'm the type to choose unconventional paths. Conformity is for pansies.
   Internationalization and Global Competitiveness - I've always wanted to study overseas. This is my chance for real international exposure and lessons in independence and personal development. It's a test of my adaptive abilities and how far I can push the limits of my capacities.
   
   
3. What's your major? Why?
   Chemical and Bioproduct Engineering. Hopefully minoring in Biology. I want to apply to medical school in the U.S. I'm looking at the medical scientist training program at University of Illinois, Chicago. Or UCLA. Yeah, I like UCLA, too. :) There's always engineering and research if I change my mind about medicine but whatever I end up doing, I want to make health-enhancing differences in the lives of others.

Those are the three most frequently asked questions I get here in Hong Kong.

Yet I'm sitting here realizing more and more what my underlying motives are... this advent in Hong Kong is essentially a quest for self-worth. During my years in high school, I lacked so much confidence. Confidence which could have helped me achieve the things I had the potential for. I started out in ninth grade with so much of it (potential). I was a track star, a good writer, reasonably intelligent, and well-liked. But it changed somewhere along the lines. I had a fall out with Life. And it's mostly because I didn't think I was good ENOUGH, because there was always someone better than me, and because I needed emotional validation--something which I have always lacked (flash quick notice to the way I was raised and -ahem- my parents).

The road to recovery has been long. My motivation is an internal one. I only have things to prove to myself and coming so far, I can't stop now.

When will the desire for accomplishment stop? When I graduate from HKUST after being accepted to a medical program? When I finally get my mile time under seven minutes? When I finally get first place recognition in a track competition? When I'm a starter on the basketball team? When I can comfortably provide a good life for myself and my parents? ... Do I have a perpetual inferiority complex? Will the need to do better ever stop?

I've been warned on and off by people that life is too short to be constantly chasing after ambitions. That I should expend my energy on people in my life that matter. Otherwise, they will pass out of your life and that will be your biggest regret in the end. For example, academia is a career field that never stops. The acting head of the CBME department has had many traumas in his family life because of his internationalized and travel-based career. And it's not uncommon to hear about the poor family lives of doctors so don't get me started.

If I don't slow down, will I never share blissful happiness with that special someone?

Will I ever have that magic moment where I feel infinite and the world with all its worries and cares no longer matters to me?

Is there such thing as happily ever after?