Letters from the heart

It's really true. Handwritten letters mean a lot more than a Facebook post/message, email, or text message. The only real problem is the lag time. But such a challenge makes it even more novel, yes? I have a friend who took it upon himself to write to select friends as regularly as he could. In the beginning, I felt I couldn't keep up and I was always too busy to respond in a prompt manner. Like a friendly obligation. But over time, the letters became more meaningful and I realized how little effort I tended to put into some of my more beautiful friendships. Every envelope from a friend became a wonderful gift and supplement to my well-being.

I'm guessing the meaning of "pen pal" is going to be as outdated a concept to future generations as outdoor drive-in movies are to the 90's generation in Cali. It's something to be experienced but its true significance and meaning will have been lost by the dynamic and ever-changing cultural norms. Sure, a drive-in movie is a pretty novel experience if I ever get the chance, but I'll never know just how much of a cultural impact it had when they were popular (and when there was enough land to dispense for these purposes).

Think about the birthday notifications on the top right sidebar on your Facebook home page. A nice waterfall of "Happy birthdays" is collectively wonderful for some but others find it absurd and meaningless. That in itself could represent the subtle controversies of the information age.

Think about the old friends that pop up in your head from time to time. For the information age, it's "I'll Facebook them" or "I'll send an email their way." The gesture is effortless and fairly quick and for the recipient, it's but a pleasant feeling to know someone thought about him/her. But personally, it seems like so much more to send a handwritten letter these days. It's not just a pleasant feeling for the said recipient. It's a surprise that touches the heart.

Ultimately, despite what I've said about the current norms, I'm pretty hopeful that the meaning of friendship will never become a lost concept. The truth of the matter is we can't write letters to EVERY single person that means something to us, although it would be convenient to have the time to do so. If we were reasonably close to 10% of our friends on Facebook and assuming the average person had 100 or so friends, and if we wrote to each other weekly, I'm sure our spirits would wear thin soon enough. Face it, everyone has a busy schedule. It really just depends on what kind of person you are and the dynamics between you and each person. A relationship maintained through snail mail isn't necessarily more meaningful or better than one maintained through electronic mail. It's how you get your message across that counts. Each interaction is a gesture that we put our selves into, hoping that the other receives it.

"I know what I have given you, I do not know what you have received."

Hair is just hair

In the end, a hairstyle is just a hairstyle.
But there is a certain sense of satisfaction when you cut your own bangs with some level of success... at least it doesn't look awkward.

Before:

After:

In other news... I'm getting nervous about my summer research applications... March is the month of reckoning! I'm scared I won't get any and then I'll have to find... A JOB. Also, there are waaaaaaay too many project-based courses this semester. Group projects are ridiculously time consuming. Boo.

April 9th... MACAU CUP. Let's bring home a victory!

Enter the misunderstood misfit in high school

Some people never find that place where they belong. They are doomed and pressured by society to try to climb the social ranks. And in their path, society rears its ugly head and stops them. A status quo rep and a scapegoat, the misfit is not accepted as a misunderstood genius or misguided talent. They simply do not have the social skills to be accepted by most, if not all. And boy, am I guilty of turning my head in frustration and rejection whenever the misfit's social ineptitude irked me.

This social nature of humans... we're so affixed on what's right and wrong. I'll admit, I went to a high school swarming with nerds and enthusiasts for ambition and knowledge. The status quo was not as evident and almost every nerd, geek, Asian, white person, singer, orchestral player, athlete, coach, homosexual, bisexual, teacher, student, you name it, belonged somewhere, to some group. Not only did they have that, but by senior year we all got to know each other so well (or rather, we all got used to each other), we learned so much about tolerance and the diversity of people that we could shatter glass and find value in every little shard. But it wasn't like nobody ever categorized people in their head still.

I guess people like to imagine we've all veered from the dichotomous selection of people-I-accept and people-I-don't-accept. Even with education, people still have a problem with what they can't understand. We like to think that education teaches tolerance and it does to some degree but it so happens that only people with the right social perspective learn what is taught. So I have to wonder... if the social order mandates that people who don't fit in change, or that the bulk of socially acceptable people should change their views for that minority of less accepted people. Maybe it's an interdependent cycle? If the misfit was accepted in high school, (s)he'd be less misunderstood, (s)he would grow out of social ineptitude, leading to more acceptance, leading to the accumulation of tolerance and respect for human individuals.

I wonder... because I am a guilty woman... for I have secretly labeled people in high school, in spite of my belief that you should be kind to others. I wish I could atone for my secret errs. But alas... the world of high school has passed. And the time of misfits in the status quo, who themselves likely participated in social "labeling", has passed....

or has it? I can't be sure.

Wasn't my post on college girls a kind of social labeling? And to be honest, I don't think I'd mind if people labeled me a social misfit.

In all this order, there is confusion

Note: These thoughts aren't really well-developed in any way. I just haven't updated in a while.

Thermodynamics proposed the concept of entropy and how everything has the tendency towards disorder. The second law of thermodynamics is the reason there is a direction of time. Because we recognize nature's initial state to the next more disordered state.

But what if what we realize as order is not really order at all? Not "ultimate order" at least. What if there was a bigger picture that humans are building against, just to fulfill our concept of order? Who knows what this ultimate order is.... ultimate and absolute truth, do you really believe in such a thing?

Recently, I've been so busy, I don't really have time to think about the world at large or spiritual issues. High school provided so much ample time for such thinking and self-cultivation via literature and writing and churchgoing. What's at my university desk is a jumble of coursework and research investigations and preparations for a future career. But I guess that's the job of a scientist, isn't it? To dwell on the minute details of how nature works. And then we let the businessmen and politicians manipulate it.

Anyway, I'm just confused, I guess. About the balance, or lack thereof, in my life.

The best sign of success is confidence,

the ability to love yourself even in failure,

and friends and family. :)

Today is Day 3. And counting.

College Girls

I have to say something I thought about while doing laundry.

Girls go through so much trouble just to attract the attention of men. In college, especially, there's so much freedom to dress up. Scanty, scandalous, cutesy, over-accessorize--all of these things--just to go to class or go out with friends. Dressing up for attention has become a sort of casual thing.

I guess it's understandable. From a biological ecology perspective, the mating competition is fierce. It's not only genetics which play a part in attracting men. It's not only personality which keeps them. It's upkeep and superficial primping. Make-up has altered the culture from square one so I guess it's in the nature of survival... the nature of biology. And we fall for it. I'll admit I've turned my head once or twice because some guy did his hair nicely that day. It's just how we get attention and, believe it or not, I think that superficial appearances is and always be of some importance in this world.

But it's sad how drawing an image can consume a person and distract them from the upkeep of a personality. And by upkeep, I mean maintaining virtue, integrity, humor, wit, intelligence, etc.--the silent things that you can't genuinely read or understand without really getting to know a person. If you keep working on how beautiful you look on the outside, you might never pay attention to making yourself beautiful on the inside. It can even go vice versa. Best to strike a balance that fits you. Most people can but I think a lot of us fall prey to society's tricks in late high school and college years.

I think I might offend some guys if they read this (well, I don't have a big following anyway, so I guess there's no need to have a disclaimer). But I think some girls need to tone it down a little. Stop trying so hard to get attention. And maybe some guys should stop being so preoccupied with their own search for girl-attention as well. Lastly, everyone should take more time to get to know a person's personality. For [a rather extreme] example, there is a girl at HKUST infamous for her ridiculous outfits on a daily basis (I've yet to see her). In doing so, many guys and girls become preoccupied with criticizing or being attracted to her choice of style (yet here I am being a critic). Not only that, I'm sure her personality has suffered negligence by her preoccupance with trying to look like that every day. I can't say that for 100% certain because she might actually have a pleasant personality... on the inside.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should all stop being so confusing to each other. It's just a preference of mine, but I like my guys honest and unassuming. Quiet and shy, so I can get to know him bit by bit. And of course, he has to be a bit of a secret romantic. (Wow, I'm pretty lucky. I think I know just the guy! <3)