Just a day

Locks of Love this summer. I hope my hair's healthy enough to donate. It will take several years to grow my hair back to this length but it'll be worth it... plus I think I need a drastic change in my life. Now comes the question of when... maybe I'll do it before my birthday?

MUD RUN (scheduled for July 17, 2011). Six other people have dared to take on the challenge with me. Today I accompanied my friend on a thrift store search for running shoes (since there's a possibility we'll have to dispose of them after the run). Daily training is a fail (sigh). I need to start waking up earlier.

Planners. One of my friends keeps two daily planners. One filled with stuff that she's going to do and one filled with stuff that she has done. The latter is a bit more detailed and probably includes the quirks that come along during the day and it helps her remember all of the stuff she did with accuracy (sort of like archiving your life in a shorthand version of a diary or journal). It also includes her random sketches. I admire her ability to maintain it so I'm going to give that a shot, too. Now to find a decent planner...

Weight loss. So.. my goal is to change my range to 53-54kg. It's at 56-57kg. It's pretty hard. Not gonna lie. I need to start waking up early.

Languages. Eh... there's so much stuff to do in one day, I don't really have time!! I need to start waking up early. =.=

Currently Reading: I NEED A BOOK TO READ.

Currently Listening To: Believe (Cher)

I had a nice conversation about this song with my friend. At a certain age in your lifetime, Cher just becomes so amazing despite what you thought about her before. I guess it's true. Our heartstrings somehow get restrung over and over again as life passes.

Time perception

The buzz of HK, the speed with which people walk, the extra time public transportation takes, and its late-starting mornings give me the feeling that 24 hours in Hong Kong goes much faster than a day when I'm in the U.S.

But two weeks in the U.S. went by without warning... spending time with my boyfriend, training for mud run, meeting up with old friends, fish tacos, ice skating, Texas hold'em poker, McDonald's, In-N-Out, working on my summer goals... there's hardly enough time to do it all. I can hardly find a time to Facebook for leisure/social purposes and atop it all, I can hardly find a time to call up my friends in HK. Bleh...

Coming back and being around my old friends, I feel different from a year ago. Stronger? More sure of myself? More confident than before.

I karaoked twice this week... and I'm no longer too shy to hold the mic or sing to my heart's content. It's... just a feeling, I guess. I don't worry about being judged and I just act like who I am. It's a nice feeling knowing that I'm starting to become comfortable in my own skin.

10 weeks is too short... and now only 8 weeks left. Ugh!

Currently Reading: --

Currently Listening To: Let Me Go (3 Doors Down)

The Time Traveler's Wife was boring.... it was sci-fi.... but the romance was too much for me. Ick.... why do I hate romance novels... why do I find romance movies boring... =_=

I still want someone to save me... still need a hero....

Not being perfect

You know, I've been thinking quite a bit about social life. How I always wished I was pretty, how I could never be comfortable in my own body, how my face always had the ugliest acne, scars, and eye bags, how I could never see myself beautiful, how I always had such low confidence in my abilities, how low confidence always led to disaster, how I'm a jack of many trades and master of none, how I'm so socially inept and awkward around some people, how I'm rhythm- and tone-deaf, how I pretty much hate myself for...well, not being perfect.

I believe that every girl knows the feeling. Blame it on whatever you will but I guess I'm past the point where blaming the world, mass media, consumerism, men, and all that jazz helps me feel any better.

I know that I don't have to be perfect. And I know I ought not bother too much about what the rest of the world says I should be. And I know that I should embrace and accept who I am.... But there comes an important question...

Who exactly am I?

Turns out the inconvenience of being a "victim of society" (as Shin and I like to phrase it) is that we can't break out of the world's cruel tricks of who we should be because we no longer know who we ought to be. And the problem is finding out who you are is a long-term and intrinsically lonely Herculean effort.

Currently Reading: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Currently Listening To: Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), Human (The Killers)