15 July 2010

Grated Princess Peach

So I went out to play volleyball with my housemates and the brothers at UCLA. It was the first time in a while and, as always, I tried to justify my deficiencies before the male gender by playing the helpless (aka damsel in distress) role. Examples: "I don't know how to play this!", "I don't want to stand here..", "I haven't played in a while." It's a defense mechanism; I hope no one finds it annoying. Everyone thinks I'm pretty decent at sports and even though I hadn't touched a volleyball for as long as I can remember, I still got compliments. Which brings me to talk more about the damsel in distress role and why even the most strong and independent of the female gender can fall prey to the complex.

First of all, it's an easy role to play. Acting helpless literally means you don't have to do anything or try very hard. And you can even throw in a bit of cuteness into it.

Second: In traditional stories, damsel in distress attracts the best and most prince charming-esque men. And we all know this knight in shining armor is a cultural icon for ROMANCE. Furthermore, it seems to attract attention. What girl wouldn't want attention and romance? Unless it's the wrong kind of attention. And a bad romance. (Rah-rah-ah-ah...)

Thirdly, it's a cop-out. I tend to shamelessly abuse my stereotypical role as a female to avoid a job. Sometimes it's nice to let men do all the work, you know. Even if you are fully capable of doing it yourself.

Last: There are many other points, but I'll mention this one. Society. Although the shifting dynamo of societal gender roles is apace, there is still residual influence. Girls are taught by the physical actions, not the passing of knowledge, of our peers, mentors, media and hollywood icons, and elders, that we must assume tasks more suited to our capacities. Homemaking, cooking, and childbirth. And oh yeah, let's not forget scanty visual stimulation for men. Knowledge and ideals, as we would have it, counteract all of this and help empower women. We are still, however, under a hazy influence because genetics and physiological differences are undeniable facts that the female stereotype was built upon.

Why the Damsel In Distress Complex is failing in modern society:

It's increasingly evident among my male companions that the helpless role is losing its beguile. People are starting to see through it and deem it unattractive. They want someone capable, intelligent (equal but not more intelligent), and trustworthy. These are qualities opposite to that of the traditional damsel.

Then we look to how society is changing and how more women are achieving more things. The traditional tomboy role is losing persecution and many capable women harbor a good amount of pride for their gender. Jane Eyre, one of my favorite classics, speaks wonders:
Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.

So why, despite the failing role of the damsel, do I fall prey to such a complex?

Conclusion: It's an easy way out of being a stronger person. Because strength and capability take work to maintain. Because being different is a lonely position and being helpless at least keeps you company. At least I'm realizing all this and I try to keep myself in check. I have my weaknesses, of course, just as any other person does. But I love the fact that I'm a science nerd and a geek. I love sports and being active; basketball, track, volleyball, ultimate frisbee. I love the admiration and respect I get when I tell people I'm an engineering major aiming for medical school. I love that my boyfriend would have me no other way: independent, rational, and active. No way am I going to hold to this route of escapism!

There is one last undeniable fact I would like to point out. Princess Zelda is just soo much hotter than Princess Peach.

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