Baggage (juneblog #2)

As I was packing my things, deciding what to keep and what to donate or throw away, I realized that this was not the only type of baggage I had.

Life is a journey and naturally, we need to take things with us. Things that are necessary to our survival and things that carry meaning for us. We call these things "life skills." But other things can be collected too... Feelings of love, feelings of responsibility and gratitude, knowledge from school, attachments to pet animals, attachments to people that bring negativity to your life, emotional residues (leftover resentment for how previous relationships changed me), unnecessary tidbits of information (did you know Kim and Kanye are having a girl?), you get the picture.

But possessions can accumulate if we are not carefully filtering the important things. I am a hoarder in real life. My car used to be filled with old class notes that I'd never look at again, my wallets used to brim with old receipts that I'd never need to use later, I have old scrapbooks and boxes and boxes of things I find sentimental--some so ridiculous like movie or museum tickets. In the same way, I am a hoarder of emotional and mental  baggage. No, I don't hold grudges, but I do tend to hang on to feelings of elation or feelings of anger (at myself) longer than I should. I tend to put too many activities on my plate--more than I can handle--and later I wont have the mental strength to power through them. I tend to hang on to the idea that I have to be the best at everything. I tend to be insecure and I tend to be unhappy with where I am at in life. I've hung on to my past and blamed it more than I need to.

To me, I sound ridiculously broken. But that's always been me. I've always had a very cluttered mind and I guess that also means I've always had a very cluttered heart. I even carry a lot of baggage physically- with the tell tale signs of finals and hell week and holiday weight on my belly and hips.

So what lessons can I take away from my short stint in Hong Kong? It has been a long process of filtering out the unimportant and focusing on the things that matter. As I packed my belongings I've had to toss out stuff I frivolously thought were of value but never realized they didn't have any long term value. If I took more things than I needed on my back, I would struggle to carry huge bags around when moving forward in life.  When it comes down to it, very few things matter in life. You decide what they are for you. Ill hold on to my own dreams and loved ones, too.

* Today, I returned my PRS and have almost settled everything with the financial office. Some crazy stuff happening but yeah, I'll be on a plane soon!

* I also saw Miranda and Shin-shin! Two people ill miss dearly. I hadn't talked to Shin for a while but it was nice to see her again. I remember during my year 1 we all went out to Mong Kok to hang out together. I think that was the first time we all really felt close because we had so much fun together? What a nice way to spend my second to last night in HK, in Mong Kok, with those 2 again. All that was missing was the sticky photos. But a chat over ice cream, hot chocolate, and brownies is nice, too! Miranda still has to send me the photo with all 3 of usss so I'll edit this post with the pictures later~

 ♥ Present (June 2013)

♥ Past (December 2010)