The weakest link

!! Warning: Ambiguity Ahead !!

People always advise you to never let anything build up inside because you risk a pressure buildup that is neither good for your emotional nor mental state.

Just when I thought I was fine, I suddenly feel like everything's coming to me at once. Everything I kept inside, hoping that the feeling's gonna pass and all the problems will fade away with time, just won't stay away. It's that moment where you realize how infinitely weak you are and how you can't control your sense of rationality. It's that moment where you suddenly start doubting everything you once had full faith in. It's that moment where everything you thought was real just seemed so fake.

Confusion most of all, then bitterness, resentment, disappointment, and just plain sadness. In the end, I guess I'm the weakest link between us and I just don't want to admit it.

Two worlds

Disney really likes to mess with my head. Whole new worlds are dangerous places, not places where romantic interludes occur.

I was content where I was in the U.S. I had many subsets of that world which I had control of and people, things, and places which could make me happy. I was ready to own my life. I had a comfortable circle of friends, a boyfriend, and prospects for life. But instead I longed for the unexplored.... a unique and different experience.

And it led me to Hong Kong.

This is where the typical story of growth and, getting knocked down, learning about yourself type of thing happens.

But it's deeper than that. Having a lot of emotional ties in the U.S. initially made me hesitant to be close to anyone here. But after several months, I realized that I was in too deep with my new life here and day by day, it makes it all the more difficult to leave behind.

Worse, I'm torn between my life here and my life back home.

It's.... bleh.